always judge books by their covers

More than once I've caught myself caressing a book cover. Those raised and/or metallic lettering, the little details. At the risk of sounding like a pervert, I dare say I find them rather sensual. 

Well yes, I'm a book fetishist, and I love touching and smelling paper. I like books as objects even before I like their content. 

But apparently, it's not only that. Turns out there's a whole cover coding system, according to author Paul Collins. In his delightful memoir Sixpence House: Lost in a Town of Books, he says: 

There is an implicit code that customers rely on [when choosing a book]. If a book cover has raised lettering, metallic lettering, or raised metallic lettering, then it is telling the reader: Hello, I am an easy-to-read work on espionage, romance, a celebrity, and/or murder. To readers who do not care for such things, this lettering tells them: Hello. I am crap. Such books can only use glossy paper for the jacket; Serious Books can use glossy finish as well, but it is only Serious Books that are allowed to use matte finish.

On on and on, there's a lot of interesting things about different sizes, color, hardcover vs. paperback, and vertical vs. horizontal format. It's all very fascinating.

 My two books have metallic, faintly raised lettering. Then again, they are guidebooks, so hopefully, Collins's golden rule of crappy books does not count. 

 On the topic of the "head shot of The Author," Collins says a lot of books feature the same kind of pose - "sitting still while looking pensive or smiling faintly into the indeterminate distance - the one pose that has no existence in the author's actual daily life." 

The picture you see above, on the contrary, tells a lot about my actual daily life NOW. But I don't think any publisher is going to use it. 

Also, Collins says that "If a color photo of the author occupies the entire front cover, the book is unequivocal crap."

Amen. 

I wonder what the above photo would say about my book. Or the author, for that matter. 

By the way, yesterday my pal Ben came to my place and took a great photo of me. Check out his kickass website. 

But if I ever wrote a horror or zombie story, I know which picture I would use.  

PS If you don't subscribe to this blog, my monster self is going to haunt your dreams.